---

During a meeting at work, you propose a creative idea that you’ve worked on for weeks to a group of colleagues — and one of them rolls his eyes, interrupts you, and dismisses your idea as ridiculous. He speaks over you, smirks, and later posts a sarcastic comment in the project chat, questioning your competence. Upset, you leave the channel.

This is workplace incivility: rude, disrespectful actions that violate professional and social norms. Examples include sarcasm, interrupting, taking credit for others’ ideas, ignoring greetings, spreading rumors, sending curt emails, and excluding people from discussions.

Research shows that even unintentional rudeness causes stress, lowers morale, and makes it harder for companies to retain and attract talent. Unfortunately, incivility is on the rise. The Society for Human Resource Management reports record-high levels of workplace and societal rudeness, with most people expecting it to get worse.

But hope is not lost.

Meet Christine Porath, an expert in workplace well-being. As a clinical professor of organizational behavior at UNC Kenan-Flagler Business School, she has made it her mission to help people and organizations survive — and flourish.

Respect matters

Porath’s fascination with the ripple effects of incivility is deeply personal.

“I witnessed and experienced a lot of incivility in my first job out of college,” she recalls. “I spent a year going to work every day and hearing things from coworkers like, ‘Are you an idiot? That’s not how it’s done,’ and ‘If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask.’”

The experience was transformative. Driven by a desire to make a difference, Porath returned to graduate school at UNC Kenan-Flagler, determined to decode the true cost of incivility. What she discovered was eye-opening. Rudeness isn’t just unpleasant; it’s dangerous. It fuels stress, drains motivation, and can even lead to life-altering mistakes, particularly in high-pressure fields like health care.

The consequences reach beyond the recipient of the negative interaction. Colleagues who witness incivility often feel the sting, too, as the toxic atmosphere spreads. Even the smallest slights can spiral into big problems, quietly eroding productivity and morale.

Her findings show that incivility often stems from stress or the mistaken belief that kindness is a weakness. But long-term research demonstrates that civil behavior fosters stronger performance, opens doors to leadership, and cultivates healthier, more engaged workplaces.

Employees consistently report that being treated with respect by their leaders is more important than receiving recognition or feedback. Simple gestures, like expressing gratitude, listening attentively, and sharing credit, can meaningfully reshape an organization’s culture and outcomes.

“We can all do better,” Porath emphasizes. “Each one of us can be more mindful and take steps to lift others up — at work, at home, online, in schools, and throughout our communities. In every interaction, ask yourself: Who do you want to be?”

Mighty connections

Americans are lonelier than ever. From 1985 to 2004, the average number of close confidants dropped from three to two, and today, more than a quarter of people say they have no one to turn to during hard times. Major depression climbed 33 percent from 2013 to 2016, and suicide rates rose by nearly 30 percent between 1999 and 2016.

Isolation takes a toll on many aspects of our lives, including business performance.

In 2014, Porath and her colleagues surveyed over 20,000 people from various industries to understand barriers to workplace satisfaction and productivity. Their findings revealed a widespread issue: 65% of respondents reported a lack of community at work.

Follow-up studies deepened this insight, showing that 76% of workers struggle to connect with teammates, and more than 40% feel isolated. That sense of disconnection has clear consequences. Lonelier employees report lower job satisfaction, fewer promotions, more frequent job changes, and a greater likelihood of quitting within six months.

As Porath and her colleagues gathered data on the power of communities, her research again took a deeply personal turn.

Her brother, Mike, and his wife learned that their daughter had a rare chromosome disorder and would likely never develop beyond the cognitive abilities of a 5-year-old. Feeling lost and afraid, Mike searched online for support but found little until he came across a PDF with six stories from parents of children with disabilities. These firsthand accounts offered hope and reminded him that he wasn’t alone.

Through his searches, Mike realized that the most effective health solutions come from lived experience and that people facing health challenges need authentic community support. Instead of isolated message boards, he envisioned a space for open discussion, where doctors, caregivers, researchers, and patients could connect and share encouragement.

In 2014, Mike and his wife launched The Mighty, a digital media company devoted to connecting people dealing with disease, disability, and disorders. Since then, it has grown from a small network of people to the world’s largest and most engaged health care community.

Porath watched The Mighty grow, leading working groups and learning directly from her brother’s experiences.

“From Mike and The Mighty, I learned the true power of community,” she reflects. “He believed he was helping people tackle health care challenges, but what he was truly addressing was the problem of isolation.”

Community is the overlooked key to thriving workplaces, and Porath argues that, rather than focusing only on engagement or retention, organizations should prioritize genuine connection — one of our most fundamental needs.

Driven to understand what fuels successful communities, she studied hundreds of organizations to identify the guiding principles behind thriving groups. Her research drew on insights from hundreds of thousands of people in diverse settings, from startups and Fortune 500 companies to hospitals, nonprofits, schools, sports teams, faith groups, and government agencies. In every environment, community was the essential ingredient for lasting success.

“When people feel a sense of community at work, we found that they are 74 percent more engaged and 81 percent more likely to stay with the organization,” she says.

Porath found that organizations and leaders build the strongest communities by sharing information openly, empowering individuals, fostering respect, practicing radical candor, promoting shared purpose, and prioritizing member well-being.

“I would love to see people and communities thrive. At its core, that’s what this work is about, helping people flourish and grow,” Porath says. “I want to empower them to become their best selves and contribute fully to their communities, organizations, families, and teams.”

Storytelling power

Porath is committed to closing the gap between research and practical application and believes that widely sharing her findings can spark positive change far beyond academia. She makes her insights accessible by artfully weaving scientific data with compelling storytelling.

“I love research and will always pursue it,” she says. “But my true strength lies in translating research into practical insights for leaders. When thoughtfully packaged with data, stories have the ability to inspire people to take positive action.”

Beyond her TED Talks and speaking engagements, Porath has authored three books based on her research, all tailored for a general audience. “Mastering Civility” and “Mastering Community” have been adopted by Fortune 500 companies to improve workplace culture, and her insights have appeared in The New York Times and Harvard Business Review. In her books, she often begins each chapter with a captivating story to illustrate key concepts, pairing them with case studies that reinforce her messages.

Porath’s commitment to authentic storytelling drives her to spend months, sometimes years, closely observing, interviewing, and even living alongside her subjects. For her forthcoming book, for example, she immersed herself in the Carolina women’s soccer team — the most decorated dynasty in collegiate sports history, with 23 national championships — for three seasons. She attended practices, team meetings, and games to better understand how their culture motivates both individuals and the collective to perform at their best.

“To do this effectively, you almost need to take on the role of an anthropologist — immersing yourself, living within the environment, and fully experiencing it firsthand,” she says. “You have to go and have conversations, and see how this happens, often multiple times, depending on the story you want to tell.”

Although not every detail from her immersive experiences finds its way into her books, Porath regards this process as essential. It enables her to write with genuine authenticity. Visiting places, building relationships with her subjects, and vividly describing their environments elevate her storytelling.

“Ultimately, I believe storytelling is the most compelling way to present and share findings,” she says. “If we want our research to reach society, people must be able to connect with and understand it.”